What actually is a family? Does birth or marriage in a family mean that you are a member of a family? Mostly, it is about birth and relationship formed by marriage ( and extended thereafter);You surely aquire some names, however neither the values or relationships can be transferred that way. What about distance? Can people living far away and for many many years still belong to a family back in the original place? Can very rich people really have poor cousins and still be a family? Does Economic disparity have anything to do with the definition of 'family'
According to wikipedia "A family consists of a domestic group of people (or a number of domestic groups), typically affiliated by birth or marriage, or by analogous or comparable relationships — including domestic partnership, cohabitation, adoption, surname and (in some cases) ownership (as occurred in the Roman Empire).” The key word here is affiliation. What is affiliation without affection, love and caring called?
Aristotle regards the family primarily as an ethical institution that invests
natural ties of kinship and affection with meaning and value. He wrote about spousal relationships beyond physical relationships, as social relationships based on 'mutual rational virtue' whatever that means!
The sociologists defintion includes
a. A fundamental social group in society typically
consisting of one or two parents and their children.
b. Two or more people who share goals and values,
have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same
dwelling place.
2. All the members of a household under one
roof.
Are we acting our expected role in a family to be accepted in our social circle? Does caring, and sharing ( send me your cheques family!!) have anything to do with belonging?
What about the concept of 'runa' one owes to the family? Is that antiquated?
Am I a hypocrite when I want to belong to a family but want nothing to do with the dirty smelly and poor cousin? And surely do not want the middle class values and values of the middle ages? What is the difficulty in shedding the cloak of family? Or do we get some identity from family even if it is not a great one?
Are there dysfunctional families or individuals who are 'family' dysfunctional?
Like all things, everyone is entitled to his own thing, what bothers me is the hypocracy and the dishonesty that envelop the concept of family. Similar to men who want the sexy, vibrant and vivacious lady as a girlfriend and the quiet, demure, and 'homely' girl as a wife. ( dont ask me what 'homely' means, I never knew)
Have you experienced the look of fear in the eyes of a rich relative, hoping you are not there to ask for some monies? or the 'taking things for granted' behaviour of a poor relative? Using the terms relative for want of an appropriate replacement of the term.
Sibling rivalry in adulthood sometimes needs to be 'seen' to be believed. Anticipated Possessions can wreck great damage to individuals and 'family' gets redefined as a relationship with potential material possessions.
When one is busy with building their social identity, wealth, or nuclear family, north Bangalore appears like another town to those living in the South. When one is getting close to retirement, when time is available and friends distant, suddenly we want to reconnect with uncles, aunts, cousins, even second cousins, and thanks to smart phones and the internet, this is so easy. When each life story has been different and distant, is it still family?
A rant ? While that surely means an outlet for one, am sure it might be worth a read even if to see through another's eyes!
Have you experienced the look of fear in the eyes of a rich relative, hoping you are not there to ask for some monies? or the 'taking things for granted' behaviour of a poor relative? Using the terms relative for want of an appropriate replacement of the term.
Sibling rivalry in adulthood sometimes needs to be 'seen' to be believed. Anticipated Possessions can wreck great damage to individuals and 'family' gets redefined as a relationship with potential material possessions.
When one is busy with building their social identity, wealth, or nuclear family, north Bangalore appears like another town to those living in the South. When one is getting close to retirement, when time is available and friends distant, suddenly we want to reconnect with uncles, aunts, cousins, even second cousins, and thanks to smart phones and the internet, this is so easy. When each life story has been different and distant, is it still family?
A rant ? While that surely means an outlet for one, am sure it might be worth a read even if to see through another's eyes!
According to me, those with whom you share a mutual relationship of true love, warmth, caring and giving are only family and the rest you might call them anything, but they dont smell as sweet!
I would love your comments and I will understand if you found this cynical or views of a gone case who hopes he is a maverick.
